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Time goes by without your notice
Even when you notice it and try not to let it go so relentingly
it still goes by at a speed so fast that you can't but believe it

Every time I complain that I don't have time to do something
it occurs to my mind: I certainly have time; I just don't know how to seize it.
And every time I look back and try to recall what I have done during a certain period of time
I just cannot remember clearly how I use my time

Sometimes I just let it go 
I don't seize it
I let it go at its will
I think I don't value it very much
I think it's all my fault to be so inefficient in doing everything

I also found that I often have time to worry about others
But I do not take my own business seriously
I am willing to be a helper--under a condition that it won't take away my own time to do my own thing

Yes, I am selfish
Yes, I am not sincere when I do others a favor
No, I am not a true and kind person
No, I am not good inside

That's why I have to write this journal
In fact it's not a journal
It's just a short reflection and conclusion after the observation of myself
and my life

I hope I can be efficient and do everything on my list right after I write it down
I hope I can be a good person
I hope I can manage my time well and then help others without any complaint
I hope I will not disappoint myself any more
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